Monthly Archives: January 2011
Dr. Lisa Christiansen
There’s an old adage that says the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single footstep. Today, I’d like you to take that initial step with me on the journey of your personal empowerment. Start by grabbing a mirror. Now, I would like everyone to hold up the mirror and on a piece of paper write down what you see? Who is that person in the reflection?
The image in the mirror is only a reflection of you but even so it is one of the most powerful images one can see. Who are you? Looking at this mirror and really observing the image is the most important thing you will take away from what I am sharing with you now as we begin your journey to personal empowerment.
I have prayed for only one person and each of you are that one person. Despite all the messages we get bombarded with on television, in fashion magazines and even from that annoying little inner voice, the person you are looking at in the mirror is special. You are enough. Not only are you one of a kind, but also by going on this journey with me you will see that by being the best version of you is truly powerful. You are beautiful. You are strong.
As you accept your authentic self and allow your inner beauty to be reflected I thank you for being that one person God intends for you to be. As you read this please understand that we are now a team of one. Now you can understand we have disproved Einstein’s theory that the number one is the loneliest number. One in this sense is anything but lonely. From this day forward always remember if you find yourself by yourself, which is going to happen to all of us, you are not alone. You are not alone because all that you need is within you. Think about the reflection of the person you observed in the mirror. Think about the strengths and special characteristics you wrote down as you looked at the reflection in the mirror.
Now and forever have faith in yourself when ii comes to making a decision. Listen to that inner voice and trust yourself. Are you the person driving a car in the rain that waits until they see two or three other cars with their windshield wipers on to know that it is okay to turn theirs on? If so now is the time for a change, be confident in the individual you are and be the leader.
I would like you to take a piece of paper and write who the most important relationship you’ve ever had in your life with is? Take a moment and reflect on this question. This doesn’t mean that there is a right or wrong answer in the traditional sense. The “right” answer is your answer. By that I mean what’s important to you. Just think about the person that is or was the one that you have the most significant relationship with today and right it down. Everyone who wrote down “me” give yourself a round of applause, If your wrote anything else beginning now commit to take a moment out of your day to make yourself a priority because you are the only one who can decide what you are worth it is only then that others will appreciate your value.
Although there really isn’t a wrong answer, the healthiest answer is “you”. The most important relationship we will ever have is the one we have with ourselves. Until we can be honest with ourselves, accepting our imperfections which make us perfect, appreciating our dreams, embracing our fears and all the battle scars we’ve acquired along our life’s journey, how can anyone else accept us? How can anyone value you if you don’t value yourself? We teach others how to treat us, remember we can’t give what we don’t have. As unique as we all are one thing we share in common is we often find ourselves emotionally drained from giving and nurturing others in the many roles we find ourselves in which is a beautiful gift. That amazing child within you reflected in the mirror is special and deserves to be nurtured too. By allowing yourself to be important in your life you allow yourself to be a better spouse, a better parent, a better child, and a better friend. You have the emotional constitution to stay in the moment. When you give yourself permission to dream the impossible incredible things happens.
Always remember that information linked to emotion is retained. In life eighty percent is psychology and the other twenty percent are the mechanics. A person who knows where she is going will figure out ways to overcome the challenges along the way. As you walk along your journey of personal empowerment you will have moments, days and perhaps even periods of life in which you will be confronted with frustration. When you are feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, get excited! Frustration only means you are about to have a breakthrough. Likewise confusion also means you are about to learn something, stay excited.
By learning something as you grow from the frustration and confusion you encounter remember that you are developing character and internal wealth. Internal wealth is another way to perceive wisdom. The internal wealth and wisdom that you acquire as you walk down your life’s path is what you can give and share with others who come behind you. It is always helpful sharing a concern or struggle with another individual who has experienced it and found a way to break through it. This wealth starts in the mind and in the heart.
Regardless of what your outcome is, pick someone to emulate. Look at the individuals who have found ways to succeed in the areas you are interested in now. Find someone who has a similar passion. Be brave, step up and ask for guidance. Seek a mentor and invest in that relationship. After all, we are the five people we surround ourselves with. Think about that for a moment and decide if those five people are helping you grow or keeping you stuck. Once you answer that question, take action.
Define where you are. Determine what can be done in a day, a week and a month to move you further a long your journey to reach the outcome you identified for yourself. Write your outcome in detail. Write your outcome in lots of places so that you will focus on it. Our daily focus either moves us toward or away from our outcome so be proactive. Because the most important relationship you have with another person is the relationship you have with that amazing person in the mirror, make it a priority to focus on your outcome daily. One way in which you can accomplish this is to set your outcome is if it is already happened. There’s a nugget of truth in that old saying fake it until you make it. “Act as if until” you have already achieved your outcome or as if you are currently living it.
Keep your focus. Success is the only option that is acceptable. Set another outcome as soon as your goal is met. Always take your outcome and make it manageable by dividing it into bite size pieces.
Love like you’ve never been hurt. Keep in mind that the angrier you get the more static in your brain. The more static in your brain the less you can hear what’s being said to you. Thus, so remember to live and love as love truly conquers all. May the love you have hidden deep within your heart find its way to the love in your dreams. Make the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays.
Staying in love is a decision. Loving and valuing yourself is also a decision and it’s not always easy. Anger, tears and laughter are all expected and okay in an interpersonal relationship. Through it all trust that you are truly in love. When you love yourself you have an abundance of love. Remember, love is a gift that you give without expectation of its return. It is then that your true love shines through and that is when you really know that what is inside of you, your inner wealth, your inner wisdom, and inner love is all that you need. The good news is that all of those gifts are already within you.
By learning to love myself and recognize the gifts that are within me, I am confident and secure enough to encourage you to step out in faith by looking at the person you are today, seeing where you are and deciding where you want to be. Because I am walking my own journey of self discovery I can tell you that yes, you’ll get frustrated and confused and those are all good things. I can’t say I always knew the woman I saw in the mirror what I can say is I have always appreciated this woman and her unique abilities because of the mentors that I have been blessed to have walk in front of me and beside me, I am the woman that I am today because of you. For those of you who know me from thank God I volume 3 I would like to take this opportunity to thank you with my deepest gratitude for allowing me to share my challenges that I encountered on my journey to personal empowerment. Thank you for accepting me for who I am. I have a long road ahead of me and that’s exciting. Now as I walk victoriously, I encourage you to walk beside me through my own personal awakening. Today I come to you with the opportunity to share with you my appreciation and love for you.
What has my journey taught me so far? From the seeds of necessity grows success. From the sweat of desperation come the seeds of purpose. Let’s have some fun as we grow together walking along our path recognizing that we’re never really alone, that we have all of the skills we need to get us through today within us. Trust that whatever tomorrow brings will be okay because you have the skills and tools from your own inner wealth, wisdom and love to make it.
Everyone has a primary question, what is yours? Mine is “what ACTion will I take today to create the tomorrow I am committed to living”. Equally as important, how can you create a destination that will allow you to be authentic to the complex, talented and ever growing gift that you are? Live in strength by making the situations you experience on your journey of personal empowerment into opportunities to serve others and yourself.
By Lisa Christiansen
Do you want to live in wealth? These are the 8 secrets that all masters of wealth have in common; do you have what it takes?
Wealth Creation Secret No. 1:
I know one thing for sure and two things for certain… To create exponential wealth today, you must own your own business and here are the two reasons why.
Your belief may be that the corporate executive with the $100,000 a year job has a net worth more than the small shop owner, but the truth of the matter is that the executive will be challenged to double his/her income and with the expenses of having a family this will limit the amount of savings not to mention that the taxes will eat up most of any profits that are left.
What I have found through my own personal experience is that the smallest home business owner has unlimited opportunities to expand his/her business and income, as well as how many employees, in most cases the owner is even able to write their own paychecks, and has the control to increase sales whenever they choose. Did I mention they also have time freedom?
Wealth Creation Secret No. 2.
Remember the three levels of mastery
- Cognitive Mastery: understand what you have learned.
- Emotional Mastery: Link what you learn to emotions
- Physical Mastery: you have done enough repetition to make it natural, now anchor these together!
You must be passionate enough to have a working knowledge of your chosen business when you start and continue to take steps to be a professional student expanding your knowledge as you master your skills (it is better to live by example than to lead by ignorance).
What I have learned through my personal and professional life experiences is that If you don’t know what you’re doing your mistakes will be many as well as costly and more often than not unnecessary, and you will not be able to keep up with the ever growing technologies in any field. Start smart and stay that way. Information linked to emotion is retained.
Wealth Creation Secret No. 3.
Saving money in your personal life and in your business venture is equally as important.
Always remember it is not how much you make when you are right it is how much you save when you are wrong. Self discipline is the key to saving money. You must develop the will power to deny yourself instant gratification or the temptation of the “get rich quick” thinking. Resources will be needed for growth and should be guarded carefully.
Mitigate your risks and always protect yourself.
Wealth Creation Secret No. 4.
You must take risks with borrowed money, your own money or both. Your number one resource is your resourcefulness.
Taking risks is essential to the growth of your business. Some of the richest women and men have staked their entire life savings and lost, several times over, before the risk-taking paid off.
When you back risks with good judgment, experience, commitment, and the right support you have a formula for wealth creation. Now the most important step is to follow through and follow up. Did I mention follow up?…
Search out others for advice on risk taking from the wealthy who still take calculated risks with successful returns, not from your friends who risk nothing more than a few bucks on a lottery ticket and remember you are your top 5 friends so think about that and seek wisely.
Wealth Creation Secret No. 5.
Do you know the difference between a piece of coal and a diamond? YES, the answer is pressure! Right now you are a diamond in the rough; you just need a little more pressure…
It is important to not only learn to live with tension, you must passionately seek it out.
Learn to thrive on stress! begin getting physically fit, have a psychological overhaul and ingrain new anchors. What will it take for you to handle it? Start now!
Once you make the decision to thrive on stress, you will enjoy it, you will begin seeking it out willingly and enthusiastically and wonder how you ever lived any other way.
Women and men of wealth look at making money as a game much like a child playing monopoly of which they love to play passionately.
Think about this… your biggest problem isn’t that you don’t know what you don’t know it’s that you don’t know what you do know.
Keep things in perspective and you will be in control of your stress level, once you learn to master your emotions you will be in control of your life. What will it feel like to live life on your terms?
Perception is everything, we give things meaning. You decide what things mean.
Information linked to emotion is retained.
Wealth Creation Secret No. 6.
Create wealth as a positive side effect of your business success.
If money is your only outcome in business, you will more than likely fail.
The money is the bonus of the game. If you win, the money will be there.
Remember if you lose, and you will every now and then keep in mind if you play long and hard enough, it must be fun or it isn’t worth it.
Success is living life in fulfillment and money can’t buy that! I know lots of people that have millions of dollars and are very empty, I know plenty of people that live from paycheck to pawnshop and are the happiest people I know. Money doesn’t define success, if you focus on your passion and love what you do that is where you will find fulfillment.
Wealth Creation Secret No. 7.
You Must Have Patience.
The greatest business asset you can have is patience, although sometimes I have challenges with this one… lol. You must wait for the right time to make your move, if you are in the right place at the wrong time you will have pain. You must learn to adapt to your environment and act accordingly.
Learn to trust yourself, do what you do best and let your business grow naturally, pay attention and recognize opportunity. Don’t procrastinate when opportunity knocks answer the door.
Wealth Creation Secret No. 8.
You must Challenge yourself, one way is to diversify your time and assets.
When you accomplish your outcome, you will find the need to be challenged once again. One way to fulfill this need is to seek out other ventures to grow and contribute.
I like the three bucket game
My first bucket I have a SNF (sleep at night factor) or some people might call it a security bucket. This bucket has 40% of my investment money in it in the form of CD’s, Money Market, etc.
My second bucket is my growth bucket. This bucket has 60% of my investment money in it in the form of real estate, buy and hold, etc. this is my momentum or high return which is a little more of a risk.
My third bucket is my dream bucket or my play money. How this works is that every time the other buckets show a profit I take 10% of the profits and give it to tithes, another 10% goes into the dream bucket, 30% goes into the growth bucket and 50% goes into the SNF bucket. If I want something I must wait until my dream bucket has enough for me to buy it with.
Now to diversify my time I love to ride my bicycle in events all over the world so that takes care of that need and I am living my dream with this formula. Now you have the formula, what is your dream?
I am from the Blue People Clan and I will Break the Silence!
As you come to know me better my hope is that you will feel the pride that I have lived with in my Cherokee heritage. I wish to think that my specialty is not as a teacher but as an example. I donate much of my time advocating the issues of domestic abuse as I am also a survivor of domestic violence. I will make a difference. My passion for life has always been fueled through serving the needs of others by helping others achieve their dreams. I have found that by helping others I receive paychecks of the heart that money cannot replace, the joy I see on a mothers face when she no longer struggles to feed her family is truly priceless. The relief I see in a woman’s eyes who no longer has that tired look of not knowing how her day was going to end because her future was in the hands of her abuser is what I thrive on because I too was once her. The excitement I hear in a woman’s voice because she has a successful business when she remembers a time when she did not know how she was going to pay the rent is simply a blessing. The respect I see in a husband’s eye for his wife who has grown from a timid girl into a strong, independent, and successful woman is a sight to behold. I have been all of these women. I am a single mother now earning a six figure income within three months of beginning my own business over twenty years ago. Please understand I am not conveying that only the women are abused as I have seen many men abused physically, spiritually, psychology, mentally. I have seen their emotional constitution be brought to the lowest common denominator. Abuse is non-discriminative.
A great resource I have found is NOW (National Organization for Women)
Native American women experience the highest rate of violence of any group in the United States. A report released by the Department of Justice, American Indians and Crime, found that Native American women suffer violent crime at a rate three and a half times greater than the national average. National researchers estimate that this number is actually much higher than has been captured by statistics; according to the Department of Justice over 70% of sexual assaults are never reported.
As women of color, Native Americans experience not only sexual violence, but also institutionalized racism. Alex Wilson, a researcher for the Native American group Indigenous Perspectives, found a high level of tension between law enforcement and Native American women, who report numerous encounters where the police treated the women as if they were not telling the truth.
“In a reservation community,” Wilson said, “911 would dispatch police to a scene of domestic violence, but police would call the victim by cell phone and decide himself when or if he should go to the victim’s home. Often the women would wait for an hour and other times the abuser would answer when the police called, and would say everything was fine, and there was no need for them to come. Native women . . . who called police for help were often re-victimized by the police.”
Native American women also stand a high risk of losing their children in instances of physical and sexual abuse. The women often will stay with abusive husbands in order to keep their children. In one case, a woman was beaten by her husband so badly that he broke bones and she was forced to seek refuge in a domestic abuse shelter. The husband, through support of his tribe, was able to gain custody of their two children. He continued his violent behavior, at one point, throwing their two-year-old child across the room. The woman was never able to regain custody.
In addition to domestic abuse, Native American women also experience the highest levels of sexual and domestic abuse of any group. A report from the American Indian Women’s Chemical Health Project found that three-fourths of Native American women have experienced some type of sexual assault in their lives. However, most remain silent due to cultural barriers, a high level of mistrust for white dominated agencies, fear of familial alienation, and a history of inactivity by state and tribal agencies to prosecute crimes committed against them.
“There are cultural barriers and a lack of understanding of culture in general,” said sexual offense worker Bonnie Clairmont, of the current systems meant to support survivors of sex crimes. As reported by The Circle On-Line, July 1999, she says, “One of the crucial things many professionals do not understand, is that Native Americans have a legitimate reason to distrust ‘the system.’ After all, memories—both personal and cultural—of forced sterilization and other violent ‘treatment’ procedures are not so far in the distant past for many Native Americans.”
The Report on Violence Against Alaska Native Women in Anchorage, conducted by community agencies in Anchorage, Alaska, found a widespread fear and distrust for law enforcement. Nearly all of the women interviewed felt the system had “turned its back on them” and insisted that their rights had been systematically violated. The report documents an instance involving an Anchorage police officer and a Native Alaskan woman who had been held hostage and dragged across the lawn by an intimate partner. The officer ignored her report and proceeded to tell the woman to undress so he could look for bruises. “I was afraid they might lift up my clothing or maybe that they all would rape me . . . ,” the woman said. “ I was just terrified.” The police falsely claimed the woman was drunk at the time of the incident despite a hospital report that refuted this. The woman’s attacker was never convicted.
Police and courts tend to ignore cases of violence involving Native American women due to alleged confusion between federal and tribal jurisdiction. Law enforcement and attorneys often are not schooled to deal with the cross-over in dealing between jurisdictions. Eileen Hudon, a sexual abuse counselor from the Minnesota Indian Women’s Resource Center, said there is a “basic ignorance in the whole justice system.” This causes blatant violations of the rights of Native American women. Technically, cases involving a non-Native American perpetrator and Native American victim fall under federal jurisdiction. According to the Department of Justice, 70% or more of violence experienced by Native American women is committed by persons not of the same race. The problem of violence against Native American women is exacerbated by federal apathy in law enforcement and the courts, and minimal funding for shelters, counseling, and education in Native American communities.
The cycle of violence is continuing into the next generations of Native Americans. The Seminole Tribune reported in June 1999, “Sexual assault and domestic violence are so widespread in Indian Country that spousal abuse is occurring in younger and younger couples and it is not uncommon for date rape or date physical abuse to occur among teenagers.”
“Federal, tribal and state institutions have not made stopping violence against Native American women a priority issue,” says NOW National Board Member and Native American woman, Genevieve James. “ NOW is committed to raising awareness on the problem and will demand that Native American women receive full protection against violence.”
Re-authorization of the Violence Against Women Act has appropriated over $4 million dollars to go toward improving services to Native American women who have experienced domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking. However, crimes committed against Native American women still continue to be marginalized if the United States Attorneys do not feel pressure to prosecute these crimes fairly.
NOW is urging that United States Attorney’s offices develop statistics on crimes committed against Native American women and make them public. NOW also encourages activists, chapters and states to contact the United States Attorney General’s Office and insist that battery, rape, sexual assault, and gender-based violence committed against Native American women be prosecuted to the fullest extent by the law.
NOW will work to educate members and encourages activists to educate others about the growing epidemic of violence against Native American women and to demand that adequate government funding be administered for shelters, counseling, and education in Native American communities.
For more information concerning violence against Native American women, contact:
Dr. Lisa Christiansen
888 Rio San Diego Drive
San Diego, CA 92108
Dr. Lisa Christiansen
24427 E 741 Rd,
Tahlequah, OK 74464
Mending the Sacred Hoop
202 East Superior Street
Duluth, MN 55802
Minnesota Indian Women’s Resource Center
2300 15th Avenue South
Minneapolis, MN 55404